By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
