So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
