Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
