was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
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How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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