Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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