I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
