His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
