i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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