Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
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That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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