I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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