I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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