The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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