Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
