We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
