yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
