I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Randomize