I got chris browned last night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
