the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
