She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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