I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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