i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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