Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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