THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I could fuck to npr.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
