Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
