More tranny stories later!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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