i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
