It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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