Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
