Sponge bath it is.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
