Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
