She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
