lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
