Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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