so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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