she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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