OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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