dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...