remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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