We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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