Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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