But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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