A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
