on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
