You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
