I smell stomach acid.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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