I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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