who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
