He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
