I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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