Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
