whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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