hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Panties = found
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