the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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