he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
