You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize