What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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